drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
