Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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