Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
