tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
accomplished twins. life is a go
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
