I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
