I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
be right there i have to get my cape
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Randomize
