This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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