ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
