how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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