Sry I called you an 8
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
