was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
