4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize