do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
