There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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