I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
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