I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Randomize
