I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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