Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Randomize
