and i looked up. we had an audience...
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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