oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
You can't just leave with hair like that
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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