I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
