We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
