Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Everclear isn't food dammit
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
