Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
