How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
