How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I want to be your penis for a week.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
