I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize
