people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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