We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Randomize
