I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
