How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize