Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Randomize
