I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Randomize
