Your dad touched me again.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
