on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
