i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
