I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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