I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize
