This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
