i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize