Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Randomize
