u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
