You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
