All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize
