They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
