he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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