ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
