Swine flu is the new snow day.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
He's a Shit stain on my heart
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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