she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
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