Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
