I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
