A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
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