No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
