remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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