Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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