You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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